Feel like being taken for granted...

The story goes like this...

I've known this friend since secondary 1, which means we are friends for about 13 years. I sorta treated him as my best friend because I told him everything, ask him for advice and to go out together. But I know almost nothing about him. He never talks about himself. I dont know when is he angry, when is he sad or when is he stressed out. I told myself maybe he is the type of person who does not "reveal" too much of himself to other people. But I thought we are close friends??!! Nvm...

His birthday coming up. And since I've got nothing to do in the office, I've sent him a msg asking him whether he is free on friday or thursday. His reply "Let you know again." (This is his normal reply too ALL msg, sometimes he just reply you a "no" if he is not free.) After much prompting, he told me his reason why he can only confirm after thursday. So ok, I waited for 2 weeks and this is the so called "confirmation" week. Yesterday, I met a common friend. She told me that she asked him whether he is free on weekends, she got a confirm answer "no" from him. I was saddened. So after I came to the office I msg him asking him "I met XXX this morning and she told me u are not free this sat issit?" His reply "yah. Uncertain events and apts." Then I replied "oh... Thought can book u early... Didnt guess u are so popular... haha". No reply from him onwards.

I am sad and angry at the same time. Firstly, I so called "booked" him 2 weeks b4 so i think i more or less can confirm the outing with him and the others when he confirmed his stuff by today. Secondly, I think he put me (and others) at the lower priority than his other friends (known lesser years) even if I arranged to meet first (I think). NOBODY asked me out for my birthday lor. (Ok. I maybe very selfish. He can choose who he wants to celebrate his bday with. I will tell u why I am so upset later).

Until recently I realised that I am always the one who ask him out. He seldom ((when I say seldom, it means Once in a "purple" moon) ask me out or wat. Oh come on... Even friendship needs to be two ways lor. I've decided since he is not appreciative, I shall NOT jio him anymore. And I may do back the same thing to him a couple of times. i.e to reply in one word smses. to NOT reply u when u said "let u know again".

Lucky I knew this will happen so I've already planned my weekends.

Now to explain y I am so upset. I treasure friendship ALOT. Esp the ones I think I am close to. Since primary sch, I have no friends. During recess I spend the time counting drain covers along the canteen. This goes on until primary 3 when I finally have a few friends. I dunno why but i dun feel I have any friends at all. Now comes secondary sch, finally I can have some friends in my ECAs. And we become quite close until now. And this particular group of friends is the closest to me or rather I am closest to. And this person is part of this group. And this person is the person I think I am closest to. But now it seems like it is not the case.

I feel like I am being taken for granted (For all the things I have done). Maybe he is closer to other friends than me ba. Maybe I treated him as my best friend but not the other way.

Damned... I dunno wat am i talking about... If u understand u will understand...