I think I know...

I think I know y am I so upset liao? U still remember the birthday thing? yes that incident...

I was so affected that I did not speak to my friend anymore for 2 weeks... But in the end I still msg him to jio him out for dinner... So we are to meet for dinner sometime this week...

Before I msg him I felt terrible... I even felt terrible even after I just msg him... But after a while (a few hours), I felt relieved... I felt that I am not burdened anymore and I started to think clearly once again...

I realised that besides being sad and angry, I am also being possessed by the green eye monster... I was jealous... I am jealous that his life is so eventful... All his friends are givers... He was always fully booked by his friends, but I am not... So many people wanna celebrate his birthday with him but I dun have... I am jealous that he got so many friends who always jio him, willing to organise outings for him and to have dinners with him... But I dun have...

I am not saying that my friends are not close to me... I am not saying that my friends are not good to me... But at that moment in time, I am jealous...

But after my post of takers and givers, and some self searching and of course a good talk with my "sis nua" and "daugther ning". I realised that I am not alone and I am a giver in that particular friendship. I am finally enlightened... Now I am recovering... 70% recovered...